Drugs and guns have been a part of our culture for a whole lot longer than 100 years, but these late 19th and 20th century ads are particularly disturbing because they promote products for children.
You just can’t get Cocaine Toothache Drops for only 15 cents anymore. And I believe their claim of providing an instantaneous cure, although I suspect that it cured only the symptoms.
Modern dentistry has come a long way over the last 125 years, so hopefully we can get away from using Cocaine for tooth pain. Personally I prefer having a dentist knock out the pain nitrous oxide so I can kick back and listen to classic rock. Hopefully those little kids in the 19 century didn’t get hooked, although I imagine they built that bird house freakishly fast.
Now, if tooth numbing drops that were jacked up with Cocaine wasn’t bad enough, parents in the late 1800s were also being lured into soothing their babies with tonics that were loaded with morphine. Here are three ads depicting drugged up children that are a little disturbing.
This ad for Ayers Cherry Pectoral is perhaps the most disturbing. These little kids are shown jonesin’ for some of their syrup. I don’t think they were craving the sweet cherry taste, because even 125 years later, cough syrup still tastes like…. (you fill in the blank).
I believe it’s the ingredient that keeps them coming back for more.
But never fear, when you were older, you didn’t need to worry about stealin’ the kids’ stash of morphine to knock out that pesky cough. Kimball’s White Pine and Tar Cough Syrup was your answer. A little alcohol and a nice dose of chloroform is just what the doctor ordered. And in smaller doses you could give it to the kids (hmmm, chloroform for kids? It does sounds tempting at times, but I’m sticking to time-outs for now).
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You may not recognize the brands mentioned thus far, but I bet you’re heard about this next manufacturer of fine pharmaceutical products. This ad offers American physicians some literature and samples of Aspirin. Oh, and Heroin too! The perfect answer for the common cough.
When the toothaches, headaches, coughs, colds and sniffles disappear and the whole family is healthy, it’s time for a little family fun. What’s more fun than guns? From seven to seventeen, it’s the perfect Christmas gift for youngsters. Most importantly, each person in the house should have one, just in case a family feud breaks out.
Some observations: Someone needs to show Johnny how to hold the gun. I’m pretty sure it’s pointed at Grandma (not depicted). But who cares, look how proud the parents look. Mom says, “Go outside and play now, kids Try not to shoot your eye out.”
The mistletoe or holly is a nice touch too.
Mountain Dew knows about family feuds and guns. Is anyone old enough to remember the original Mountain Dew bottles and cans with the mountain man shooting at an unidentified hillbilly?
Okay people, take a deep breath. I saved the scariest one for last. A word of warning: Don’t take that deep breath if your kid’s room is wallpapered with Trimz DDT Children’s Room Wallpaper. Yes, wallpaper and ceiling paper that kills flies, mosquitoes and ants! But I guess it doesn’t kill mice. There are Disney characters all over the wallpaper.
Maybe I’m overreacting; after all is was tested and commended by Parents Magazine. All I can say is God bless the person who invented screens for windows, so I don’t need DDT wallpaper to protect my children.
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